The experiencing self lives through moments in real-time; the remembering self evaluates episodes based on memory and makes future decisions.
These two 'selves' want different things. The experiencing self cares about moment-to-moment happiness and duration (a two-week vacation provides twice as much experienced happiness as one week). The remembering self evaluates using the peak-end rule and ignores duration. We make decisions based on memories (the remembering self chooses whether to vacation again), but memories are systematically distorted. This creates a tension: optimizing for the remembering self (memorable peaks and endings) may reduce total experienced happiness.
Parents report that time with children is stressful moment-to-moment (experiencing self) but evaluate it as deeply meaningful and satisfying (remembering self). The two evaluations can diverge significantly.
The experiencing and remembering self want the same things—they often have conflicting preferences, creating genuine dilemmas about which to optimize for.
Logically equivalent choices produce different decisions when framed differently (as gains vs. losses, or with different reference points).
PrincipleContinuing an endeavor because of previously invested resources (time, money, effort) that cannot be recovered, even when continuing is irrational.
PrincipleFast, automatic, unconscious cognitive processing that operates through pattern recognition and associative memory without deliberate effort.
Mental ModelSlow, effortful, conscious cognitive processing required for complex calculations, unfamiliar tasks, and deliberate reasoning.
Mental ModelThe tendency to rely too heavily on the first piece of information encountered (the anchor) when making decisions, even when it's arbitrary or irrelevant.
PrincipleJudging the frequency or probability of events by how easily examples come to mind, leading to overestimation of vivid, recent, or emotional events.
PrincipleJudging probability by similarity to stereotypes or prototypes, while ignoring base rates and sample size.
PrincipleWhen faced with a difficult question, System 1 automatically substitutes an easier question without conscious awareness of the switch.
FrameworkLasting behavior change comes from shifting your identity (who you are) rather than focusing on outcomes (what you achieve).
from “Atomic Habits”
A specific plan that states when, where, and how you will execute a behavior: 'I will [behavior] at [time] in [location].'
from “Atomic Habits”
Pair an action you need to do with an action you want to do to make habits more attractive.
from “Atomic Habits”
Behavior change operates at three levels: outcomes (what you get), processes (what you do), and identity (what you believe).
from “Atomic Habits”
Identity changes through accumulated evidence: each habit execution is a vote for the type of person you want to become.
from “Atomic Habits”
The experiencing self lives through moments in real-time; the remembering self evaluates episodes based on memory and makes future decisions.
Parents report that time with children is stressful moment-to-moment (experiencing self) but evaluate it as deeply meaningful and satisfying (remembering self). The two evaluations can diverge significantly.
The experiencing and remembering self want the same things—they often have conflicting preferences, creating genuine dilemmas about which to optimize for.
Experiencing Self vs. Remembering Self is explored in depth in "Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman. Distilo provides a deep AI-powered analysis with key insights, audio narration, and practical frameworks.